Intern: "Can't trust a four-year-old."
Intern: "Why don't we do pregnancy tests on all of our male adolescents, too? It would be more thorough and less discriminatory."
"The longer you stay...the longer you stay." (this makes so much more sense now that I'm in the hospital than it did before)
Senior: "She's afebrile and non-edematous, which is...weird."
Senior: "She's going to barf on you."